When the past comes back.

There is an old saying "Your past will come back to haunt you." Or maybe it's "Your past will always come back to bite you in the ass". Or, in my case, it did neither of those things, but rather sat behind me in a restaurant. Right when I least expected it.

I can honestly say, I didn't believe I'd ever see him again. Arron was my first serious boyfriend in college, where the relationship amounted to nearly eighteen months, if you don't count the break ups, and long distance parts. We had some good times and he gave me a promise ring. (Which I learned very quickly that it means absolutely nothing!) Then Arron witnessed the first seizure I ever had, that led to my diagnosis of epilepsy. A week later, he returned from work, drove me home after a movie and said "I can't do this. I just can't." He turned and walked out of my apartment, down the stairs, got into his car and drove away. He never once looked back. I know because I watched from my window. I knew I'd never see him again.

Until now. Fifteen years later.
Carpenter and I took the girls out for supper one Friday night a few weeks back, to a local family restaurant. During the meal I went with Gem to the ladies room, on our way back, I heard a very familiar voice, and then laugh. I looked up. I looked into a familiar face. I know that guy.
He recognized me.He avoided my gaze. He snapped his head back towards his friends, and lifted his hand as if to scratch the side of his face, but rather hide it. It was Aaron. He was sitting with three friends, perpendicular to our table.
Gem and I sat back down. I leaned forward and whispered to Carpenter, "Do I look good?"
"What?"
I quietly repeated my question. It somehow became important to me that not only was there no food on my face, or broccoli in my teeth since last checking all of those things in the bathroom mirror, but that I looked good, fabulous even. And I just needed him to say it.
"What?" he repeated.
Jules, sensing Carpenter couldn't hear me, piped up,"Mommy wants to know if she looks hot."

I felt my skin turn three shades of red. Carpenter looked at me quizzically. I leaned forward and quietly explained just who was sitting behind and to the left of us.
"You look fine. "He said.
Fine? Are you kidding me? Fine ? That's it? Deciding at the moment to drop it, before causing a scene, I encouraged the girls to finish up.

The girls finished their supper, and we left the restaurant. Once outside Carpenter said,"Why did you need to know if you looked good?"
"Because its important when one runs into an ex, that you look good, it's like giving them the finger without actually giving them the finger."
"Well, you could have gone up to him and said, Hi, nice to see you, oh, by the way, you were the worst lay EVER. Right in front of his friends, now that would have been funny."

I paused and actually let that scenario play in my head. I smiled. Yes, the statement was not only true, but it would have been hilarious; if I had the guts to pull something like that off, if my children weren't there, and if the place hadn't been filled with other families just like mine. But the look on Arron's face would have almost been worth it.

"I couldn't have done that hon," I said, "If we'd run into Jane, wouldn't you be concerned about how you looked?"

"No, I could care less what I looked like. I'd be more concerned about how YOU looked. I'd want her to know that I traded in an old broken down Datsun for a Cadillac." He said and smiled that smile that warms my heart.
That's my Carpenter. The love of my life. Our journey together has been one helluva ride. Come to think of it... I feel like a drive.