Days that make you...

Sunday morning I said Good-bye to Carpenter and Gem as they packed up the truck and headed off to shoot targets in the bush with a Bow and arrow for practice. I had a lazy Sunday morning planned; sipping my Cinnamon Dulche Latte, quietly looking at a magazine and cuddling with Jules as she watched Tree house TV.
The phone rang and it was my Gran who requested I take her freshly picked bucket of strawberries to my Brother and sister in law, Betty, who were at their church about to watch their eldest daughter be baptized. I realized that I was a complete tool in having forgotten what day it was. I phoned my Mother to confirm, and indeed today, was the day, and I was about to miss it. So I phoned my Gran and asked to borrow her car. I literally threw a skirt on and changed Jules out of her now jellied jammas, whipped back her hair and ran a comb through mine. When Gran arrived she began to tear a strip off me that there was a perfectly good vehicle sitting in my driveway and my "buggar" of a husband had once again left me vehicle less. (Dancer had carpooled and they were going to meet Dude there.) I apparently needed to smarten up and stand up for my self and If I didn't stand up to him and say something, she was going to give him what for the next time she saw him.
I wasn't about to explain that IF I had remembered to write the event on the calendar, and IF Carpenter had known, And IF I had actually remembered before he left, then indeed the truck, would have been mine, or better yet the bow shoot would have taken second priority, and we would have gone as a family. (Keeping in mind for those of you who know Carpenter, the latter part of that happening was pretty slim) Instead I told Gran, I didn't need her venting at that moment- Thanks, today wasn't about me, it was about my niece and I wanted to get there. So off I went, dropping Gran off at home.
I looked at the time, the sermon would be ending soon and as I pressed my lead foot to the gas pedal, I remembered that this pastor can be long winded and my Mom reminded me earlier that they never do anything until the end.
When I arrived the small Church parking lot filled with 18 minivans. The Church is a small one and 18 minivans equaled the 18 families that attended the church. There are far more Children that attend this church because the average is 5 kids. The vans were parked in such a way that there was not quite enough room to squeeze one more car in, but more then enough room so they would not ever-( even if they tried) hit the next person's car door. I sat in the middle of the lot and pondered my parking predicament for about 20 seconds. I looked at the time once more and then muttering under my breath, I put the car in park. I wasn't about to miss my niece's baptism because I couldn't find a parking spot. As I unlocked Jules from her seat, I surveyed the parking lot. Not one of the 18 vehicles so carefully parked would be able to back up, turn around or leave without hitting my Gran's car car. I ran up the church steps with Jules and burst through the door. Everyone turned and looked at me. Simultaneously. (How freaky is that?)A man in a suit stopped me and I asked If I had missed the baptism. "You're here for the baptism?" He repeated. "Yes," I said and almost added, who else would drive like a mad woman, park so none of you can leave, and burst through the door with 90% of the service over? As he informed me that indeed, it had not, he ushered me to the back where I would stand.
A young woman hanging on to a baby motioned me to come and sit with her. "You are Coyote's sister aren't you?" I smiles and said yes. "I thought I recognized you," she said.
I sat and listened to the preacher rant, yell, and pound his fist on the pulpit as he finished up his sermon on salvation. He always finished every sermon with talking about it. I don't think I have ever been to a service where he didn't end a sermon without it. Not that that's a bad thing. He is a passionate preacher I'll give him that. And every once in a while he really hammer's his message home by repeating himself quite forcefully. Once I almost yelled "I GOT IT!" while the rest of the congregation was saying "amen!"
As he brought the sermon to a close , he prayed, and his wife came to the piano and began playing softly. We sang "Amazing Grace" and suddenly I really missed church.
I watched my young niece and another young girl be baptized in very cold water, apparently the heaters were broken in the tub. But it was still a very cool moment and I was glad I made it.
Betty and Coyote had planned a small picnic with Betty's parents and I followed them to a near-by park.

After lunch Betty and her parents took off to visit friend in the hospital, and Coyote and I were left with the kids. It gave us some time to talk. And not just the "Hey, how's it going?" idle chit chat, but the "How are you?" kind and we delved into having a great conversation like we used to have many years ago, when we were really close. We talked about several things including Mom and Dad, and it felt like us and them again only not in a high school manner, but an adult view where we were open and honest to each other's feelings, and views.

When I returned home I was glad that I had gone, had an opportunity to talk to my brother and it had turned into a very nice day. Carpenter had a great day too, and then we decided to eat at out at a Chinese smorg place.
As we ate our dinner a rowdy group entered with one man in particular, saying" If you can barely fit in that seat Bob, I don't know how You expect me to fit in that seat- Bob"
Bob turned as he walked and laughed at his friend. I could hear the friend coming, His steps rumbling. Jules, who was sitting at the end of the table looked up in awe and her eyes grew big and round as saucers. The friend passed our table with slow steps reflective of the friendly Giant. Jules turned her head as he lumbered by. He was quite tall, with a mass of unruly curly hair tied down by a bandanna.He wore a black leather jacket with Harley Davidson stitched across the back did nothing to diminish his size,Jules, putting down her fork so she could point, and in her loudest child-like voice said "HEEE'S FAATT!"
Carpenter and I were both shocked and quickly scolded our honest and rather brazen child. We explained that it was inappropriate to say such things, in front of strangers. And the whole time we tried desperately to keep strait faces.
But in all honesty folks, we're still laughing ...

Sticks,stones, and Secrets...

Thursday my daughter came home in tears. Her best friend didn't want to be her best friend anymore. And she broke down in crying twice between homework time and bed time. I could only comfort her. I knew how she felt, I have been there. Kids can be cruel, and for once I couldn't fix this. I couldn't fix her broken heart. But I tried anyways. I randomly went through the other15 kid in her class that she could spend time with during lunch and recess, because she's apparently spending it alone. The three girls she hung out with the most don't want to play with her.
There is a rule at school that if someone comes up to them and says "I would like to play with you," That child has to play with them. They are not allowed to say "I don't want to play with you." It is supposed to stop the bullying process, and kids being ostracized and picked on. It would appear that it happens anyway.
I sent her to school Friday and told her that if her "friends" were mean to her again today, to let me know I'm her Mom and its my job to look after her.
When I picked her up, it was just the two of us to walk home together, allowing some mother/daughter time. My eyes and ears completely focused on her. When she came out of the school she was standing beside her "former" best friend and they chatted for a few minutes. Everything seemed to be okay.
So as we crossed the big field I asked her if she and Emily had patched things up. And she said,
"No not really, but I found out why Emily was being mean to me. Calla and Sierra told her that if she played with me, they weren't going to play with her or talk to her anymore. Now I understand." The girls still didn't allow Gem to play with them today.
As I listened to her talk how Calla and Sierra had secretly talked Emily into a "Promise she couldn't keep" I was furious. These girls are 7! They were invited to Gem's birthday party! Gem was invited to theirs, and they are treating her like this? This was the second day. The teacher would be hearing from me when I reached home.
The teacher Mrs. R. was stunned to hear " that these girls who are polite, kind, and helpful in the classroom, were behaving so badly on the playground." She is not involved with stuff that happens on the playground , the school has monitors for that. (The monitors in my opinion, are completely useless and a total waste of skin. But let's not go there...) Mrs.R. went on to say that she could be no more stunned if a different mother had phoned to say that Gem had behaving similarly. She assured me she would look into it and have a talk with all the kids on Monday. If that didn't work, the principal would be hearing from me too.
I decided at that point to phone Emily's mom. We talk quite a bit, and our kids generally get along and have play dates. I figured that she would probably appreciate hearing from me, before she heard from the school, which could occur, if this wasn't resolved.
We talked and then we talked to our kids again. Then we talked on the phone once more. According to Emily, Gem had done a few things that had made Emily upset, but nothing out of the ordinary, and Calla and Sierra had told Emily not to play with Gem, or the girls wouldn't play with her. They were "cornering her" on the play ground; not letting her go down the slide or hovering over the fire pole. Emily's mom and I agreed that we would see what the outcome was once Monday had passed, and the teacher had a time to address the situation.
Monday afternoon it seemed, everything was back to normal. I asked Gem on the way home what happened at school and if the teacher did address the situation. She had infact pulled the four girls aside and had a talk with them.
"Calla, Sierra, and Emily told me that I was confused, that I just didn't hear the rules of the game right, because it was too loud on the playground." Gem said.
I asked her if anything was mentioned about Calla and Sierra telling Emily a secret not to play with her.
And she replied, "That was apart of the rules."

Did I mention these girls are 7?

I've been tagged...

Tex over at the Maru was tagged and is now tagging me. This appears to be very similar to those pesky"Let's find out more about you" forwards that land in my in-box. And those I tend to delete immediately. But because I was one of the few that Tex has "tagged", I'll play along.

1: People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
2: At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
3: You may need to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

I'm not sure what I want to share with you, but I'll see what happens as I begin to type. So here goes...

1. The one actor who I will watch him in anything , just because He's in it is Colin Firth. I love Pride and Prejudice- the A&E Version, I could watch Mr. Darcy all day. I told Carpenter it was Nicolas Cage because he won't watch anything with Colin Firth in it, with the exception of Nanny McPhee. Others on the I would watch him in anything list include: Viggo Mortensen, (Lord of the Rings)Matthew Maconahey (U-571) and Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers).

2. Carpenter and I first met in Grade 9 and had crushes on each other. After I moved away it would be almost 10 years before we saw each other again. It was less than one year after we were reunited, that we tied the knot one September afternoon. I was offered a brand new car if I didn't walk down that isle. It is our tenth anniversary this year. Carpenter says if he knew about it, he would have told me to get the car and then we'd elope...

3. I love Running. Seriously. I love feeling the burn in my muscles and then I reach a certain point and the only thing I hear is the pounding of my feet, the rhythm of my heart. I feel like I can run for ever. I would like to train for something like the Boston Marathon one day. But until then I will be satisfied with conquering Hartman Hill.

4.The hardest thing I've ever had to do was lose 40lbs. I didn't do it because I had to do it. I did it because I wanted to. I had had enough. I was ready. And when I reached that point, I didn't even tell Carpenter. I started phoning weight loss programs, and then signed up. The support was there, and Carpenter and the kids were right along side me. Of course there were days when I cheated and the scale didn't move.It was so disheartening. But I am so glad I did. My life changed, my personality changed,and antidepressants were thrown out the window. I believe that anyone can do it, if they are ready, willing, and have that support, and if the support isn't there, call me, I'll be your cheering crowd.

5. There is not a day that goes by that I don't regret having my tubes tied. My dream for having kids was 4. Then with a colicky second baby, I began changing that dream. There are days that are great and one s that I feel like I have to lock myself in the bathroom for a moments peace(refer to my Mother's Day post) but at the end of the day, I would have liked one more.
6. The best parenting book I've read so far is She's gonna Blow! by Julie Ann Barnhill. Granted I haven't read that many, and despite the odd title, it's about dealing with anger when it comes to your kids. to quote Becky Freeman- "To every mother who's ever blown it, yelled when she should have sent herself for a time out, and wants to believe she can change." Yes, I had a hard time. Jules was a difficult baby. For all those of you out there who have experienced a colicky baby you know how tough it can be. And was a huge factor in deciding to have my tubes tied.
7. My scariest moment was staring down the loaded and cocked barrel of a rifle. Carpenter, Patriarch, and I were looking for cattle on range when we came across a drug operation. The guy pointed and cocked the rifle at our heads. I will never forget that barrel, and how he had lined me up in his sites. We fled, called the cops and they confiscated the grow. To this day there have been no arrests.
8.I know the worth of a hard days work. I have had some crappy jobs in my life, I have shoveled cowshit- litterally. I have cleaned up after a construction crew whre the guys didn't use the provided Johnny -on- the- spot. I have peeled logs in the heat of the day and come home with blisters covering my hands. I was even offered a dollar more a sq.ft. if I peeled them in my Bikini. My dignity is worth more than a dollar.

9. I believe there is nothing better than Sunday mornings under the covers with the love of my life. And then of course spending the rest of the day with my kids. Of course I believe in other things too. But that one is up therein my list of "nothing better than.." Although I don't have a list, really. So for Great Norweigian Stuff, Lady Laundry, My Cluttered Desk, Architect, and Montreal Sarah, I can think of nothing better than for you to be TAGGED!