When the past comes back.

There is an old saying "Your past will come back to haunt you." Or maybe it's "Your past will always come back to bite you in the ass". Or, in my case, it did neither of those things, but rather sat behind me in a restaurant. Right when I least expected it.

I can honestly say, I didn't believe I'd ever see him again. Arron was my first serious boyfriend in college, where the relationship amounted to nearly eighteen months, if you don't count the break ups, and long distance parts. We had some good times and he gave me a promise ring. (Which I learned very quickly that it means absolutely nothing!) Then Arron witnessed the first seizure I ever had, that led to my diagnosis of epilepsy. A week later, he returned from work, drove me home after a movie and said "I can't do this. I just can't." He turned and walked out of my apartment, down the stairs, got into his car and drove away. He never once looked back. I know because I watched from my window. I knew I'd never see him again.

Until now. Fifteen years later.
Carpenter and I took the girls out for supper one Friday night a few weeks back, to a local family restaurant. During the meal I went with Gem to the ladies room, on our way back, I heard a very familiar voice, and then laugh. I looked up. I looked into a familiar face. I know that guy.
He recognized me.He avoided my gaze. He snapped his head back towards his friends, and lifted his hand as if to scratch the side of his face, but rather hide it. It was Aaron. He was sitting with three friends, perpendicular to our table.
Gem and I sat back down. I leaned forward and whispered to Carpenter, "Do I look good?"
"What?"
I quietly repeated my question. It somehow became important to me that not only was there no food on my face, or broccoli in my teeth since last checking all of those things in the bathroom mirror, but that I looked good, fabulous even. And I just needed him to say it.
"What?" he repeated.
Jules, sensing Carpenter couldn't hear me, piped up,"Mommy wants to know if she looks hot."

I felt my skin turn three shades of red. Carpenter looked at me quizzically. I leaned forward and quietly explained just who was sitting behind and to the left of us.
"You look fine. "He said.
Fine? Are you kidding me? Fine ? That's it? Deciding at the moment to drop it, before causing a scene, I encouraged the girls to finish up.

The girls finished their supper, and we left the restaurant. Once outside Carpenter said,"Why did you need to know if you looked good?"
"Because its important when one runs into an ex, that you look good, it's like giving them the finger without actually giving them the finger."
"Well, you could have gone up to him and said, Hi, nice to see you, oh, by the way, you were the worst lay EVER. Right in front of his friends, now that would have been funny."

I paused and actually let that scenario play in my head. I smiled. Yes, the statement was not only true, but it would have been hilarious; if I had the guts to pull something like that off, if my children weren't there, and if the place hadn't been filled with other families just like mine. But the look on Arron's face would have almost been worth it.

"I couldn't have done that hon," I said, "If we'd run into Jane, wouldn't you be concerned about how you looked?"

"No, I could care less what I looked like. I'd be more concerned about how YOU looked. I'd want her to know that I traded in an old broken down Datsun for a Cadillac." He said and smiled that smile that warms my heart.
That's my Carpenter. The love of my life. Our journey together has been one helluva ride. Come to think of it... I feel like a drive.

Will that be Cash, Beer or Deer?

Renovations. They are never ending. There is always something to be done on my house. This year was no exception. There was no company coming. Still there was work to be done. I am starting to think, that my home, as warm, cozy and wonderful as it is, was becoming more like a money pit.
Let me rephrase that. It would be a money pit, IF we had to pay for all of the improvements. No, we do not ever wave a mystical magical wand, and all of our work is done and paid for. ( I have credit card bills for proof of that) However, Carpenter knows how to accomplish all of the tasks, and do them well. We save an incredible amount of money having him be the labour. This weekend for example, he installed all our new windows. They were all installed, by Sunday at suppertime. Now there is some finishing work to be done on them, but I am very happy and looking forward to ice-free windows this winter, and maybe a smaller heating bill.

There are other ways we have been able to save money on fixing our house. Our "outdoor living space" was no exception. Little did I realize, "Out door living space" is just real-estate talk for"Make your back yard look so damn good, you never want to move". We had put off landscaping our back yard simply because Carpenter was always so busy working for other people. Finally this summer, we made the time, and we had the materials, which were -you guessed it FREE.
Carpenter designed the lay-out, and formed up our patio and path, ready for concrete. On a Friday, he had three of his guys show up at our house at 8am, the pump truck came, and in 45 minutes they had the patio and walk way poured, screeted and finished. They are good! We then took them all out for breakfast.
With the patio finished, Carpenter wanted a water feature of some sort. Now, this can conjure up all sorts of ideas in one's head. But Carpenter, has a certain way he likes things done, because it is important to stay on the critical path, while completing a job. He has three basic rules:
1) Do it right the first time, or you will be doing it again.
2) Listen to him, and do it his way, because he knows what he's talking about. Or you will be doing it again.
3) - this one mostly pertains to our house: Go big, Or GO HOME.
It was really no surprise to me then, when exceptionally large rocks began appearing on my lawn, when Carpenter came home from work. He simply asked the blasting crew to keep their eyes out for "interesting looking" rocks, and when they had some, to put them into the back of our truck, instead of hauling them away.
I have become accustomed to left over, wrong cut materials, tossed aside renovation cupboards , sinks and even a toilet landing up on my lawn. Although it was a neighbourhood eyesore for a while, and I was sorely tempted to plant pansies in that toilet, The odds and ends have served us well. The tree house, my dining room table, and now my beautiful living space.

It is in the last few weeks especially, that I have come to not only understand, but fully appreciate, the FRIENDLY INTER-TRADES CURRENCY: Case o' beer. You thought it was CASH, didn't you? Yes, cash does have its place.Revenue Canada shudders at the word and has afield day with it. It works, and you can have quite a bit done for cash. But do not underestimate "Case o' beer."
Case o' Beer falls under the friendly- favour job category. This category is used after the guys have worked with each other for a while. The jobs are for the most part, small and should be no more than a couple of hours work. It is important to recognize that each tradesperson is different, and although it seems to me that the majority of them enjoy Budwiser, or Canadian beer, you should be aware of what they drink, to ensure their help again next time.

However there are exceptions to every rule. Last week, Carpenter had a stucco guy come by while we were away and stucco the concrete retaining wall in my back yard, the length of our property. His choice method of payment? Not Cash. Not Beer. ALL the wild deer,moose and elk meat left in my freezer. I like this guy. I wonder how many deer it would take to re-stucco my house?





























Here are some photos of our out door living space.
Sand: left over from a jobsite:FREE
Huge rocks(normally min$1/pound) FREE.
Zoom Boom: To put huge 3'x7'x10inches rock in place $30 permit to borrow from jobsite.
Rocks for pond: Free
Pond liner, pump, plastic hoses: $350
Designing, moving rocks, and working our butts off: Our Time
Having a gorgeous backyard, creating neighbourhood envy:PRICELESS