Thursday my daughter came home in tears. Her best friend didn't want to be her best friend anymore. And she broke down in crying twice between homework time and bed time. I could only comfort her. I knew how she felt, I have been there. Kids can be cruel, and for once I couldn't fix this. I couldn't fix her broken heart. But I tried anyways. I randomly went through the other15 kid in her class that she could spend time with during lunch and recess, because she's apparently spending it alone. The three girls she hung out with the most don't want to play with her.
There is a rule at school that if someone comes up to them and says "I would like to play with you," That child has to play with them. They are not allowed to say "I don't want to play with you." It is supposed to stop the bullying process, and kids being ostracized and picked on. It would appear that it happens anyway.
I sent her to school Friday and told her that if her "friends" were mean to her again today, to let me know I'm her Mom and its my job to look after her.
When I picked her up, it was just the two of us to walk home together, allowing some mother/daughter time. My eyes and ears completely focused on her. When she came out of the school she was standing beside her "former" best friend and they chatted for a few minutes. Everything seemed to be okay.
So as we crossed the big field I asked her if she and Emily had patched things up. And she said,
"No not really, but I found out why Emily was being mean to me. Calla and Sierra told her that if she played with me, they weren't going to play with her or talk to her anymore. Now I understand." The girls still didn't allow Gem to play with them today.
As I listened to her talk how Calla and Sierra had secretly talked Emily into a "Promise she couldn't keep" I was furious. These girls are 7! They were invited to Gem's birthday party! Gem was invited to theirs, and they are treating her like this? This was the second day. The teacher would be hearing from me when I reached home.
The teacher Mrs. R. was stunned to hear " that these girls who are polite, kind, and helpful in the classroom, were behaving so badly on the playground." She is not involved with stuff that happens on the playground , the school has monitors for that. (The monitors in my opinion, are completely useless and a total waste of skin. But let's not go there...) Mrs.R. went on to say that she could be no more stunned if a different mother had phoned to say that Gem had behaving similarly. She assured me she would look into it and have a talk with all the kids on Monday. If that didn't work, the principal would be hearing from me too.
I decided at that point to phone Emily's mom. We talk quite a bit, and our kids generally get along and have play dates. I figured that she would probably appreciate hearing from me, before she heard from the school, which could occur, if this wasn't resolved.
We talked and then we talked to our kids again. Then we talked on the phone once more. According to Emily, Gem had done a few things that had made Emily upset, but nothing out of the ordinary, and Calla and Sierra had told Emily not to play with Gem, or the girls wouldn't play with her. They were "cornering her" on the play ground; not letting her go down the slide or hovering over the fire pole. Emily's mom and I agreed that we would see what the outcome was once Monday had passed, and the teacher had a time to address the situation.
Monday afternoon it seemed, everything was back to normal. I asked Gem on the way home what happened at school and if the teacher did address the situation. She had infact pulled the four girls aside and had a talk with them.
"Calla, Sierra, and Emily told me that I was confused, that I just didn't hear the rules of the game right, because it was too loud on the playground." Gem said.
I asked her if anything was mentioned about Calla and Sierra telling Emily a secret not to play with her.
And she replied, "That was apart of the rules."
Did I mention these girls are 7?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
oh that just breaks my heart!
I have a great book called Queen Bees and Wannabes, ill lend it to you..
poor poor gem and your poor momma heart!
I guess I've got a few years yet before I have to deal with this sort of thing, but it still breaks my heart. I remember how nasty kids were at times, and recognizing at some point that they often weren't aware of the full impact.
Some of the scary things to come.
I think that this is where some boxing lessons could come in handy. -----
Seriously, I think I would be right pissed. I must think about how I would handle this...but bloodletting was an immediate thought...
Yes, Tex, you are absolutely right, boxing would have been handy. But there are a couple of things that do not help matters
1. Mrs. R. believes that every child is telling the truth, so the twins and Emily were bold faced lying to her and getting away with it. Having talked to her one on one again, Mrs. R. believes that this was all a "misunderstanding". Carpenter, and I feel though, that if you can't as an adult figure out when a seven year old is lying, and be able to trick them into confessing it,there is something seriously wrong with you.
2. Even though Emily's Mom knew that The twins were bullying Emily by threatending not to play with her if she played with Gem, I no longer have her support to persue this matter further with the pricipal and The twins' Mom.
3. I thank God everyday since then at children's resillience to things like this, especially my own child whom I have taught, that sometimes its best just to walk away and play with other kids. She still likes school, partially because its almost done, and you bet your ass, I'll be watching very closely next year.
jtfd6etyrsu6rd
Post a Comment