If you have ever read "The Country Mouse and the City Mouse" then you would have a pretty good understanding of my cousin Danni and I. As kids we were pretty close, but instead of having a great adventure every time we were together, we had to have a serious fight before we could start to play and have fun. Yes, it was hard finding the fun in dysfunction at age 11. As we grew older we of course grew apart, the fights were fast outweighing the "fun" and we seemed to have less and less in common. Not that there was much to begin with.
Over the last few years we have both made attempts to reconnect. She has sent me gifts for my kids, and copies of old photos of the two of us. And I've tried sending e-mails. But we seem to miss each other, like two ships passing in the night; Phone messages aren't forwarded, e-mail addresses are changed without notice. Most recently I have sent her a gift for her new baby girl Gigi. But I have not heard a word from her, but I keep hoping that she'll acknowledge the gift and it might spark something.
Perhaps family history will wreak havoc and rear its ugly head, preventing us from moving on and trying something new. I mean, even our mothers who are sisters hardly speak. We are a product of our family, we are taught how to act and react by our parents, they are our blueprints for growing up, and much like apples, we don't tend to fall far from the tree. And as I've been told many times before, I look like my Dad, but I act just like my Mom.
I'm a Mom now, so is Danni, and that is something strong we have in common. But it will take quite a bit of focus to beat the family drama and history. Will it be worth breathing life back into a relationship that's DOA?Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part. Perhaps in a parallel universe we would have been life-long friends. But in my lifetime I'm coming to realize that this is a chapter long been closed, and there is no point in breathing life back into something that's dead.
The focus of my life now is my kids, and I know I'm their blueprint. I hope and pray that when Gem, Jules, and even Gigi, fall from the branches of their apple tree, they'll roll away, even if it's just a little bit.
4 comments:
....out of blue comes green....
your family sounds just like mine, and over the years the one thing I have come to understand is that some people don't know how to be different. They want the same thing you do, love, friendship and mostly family, but they don't know how to reach out, how to be different, how to change, and most important how to love. I think your cousin Danni is missing out on a lot, and that is really sad. You took a chance, and you'll never regret that.
So love the people that love you, teach your kids to be different and make a difference, and pray for the Day that Danni, can love herself, and those who love her. I think she too sad to be any different.
Loved your story.
That's enough of that...time for fun....
....so have a drink of whisky and roll down a grassy hill!
heck give your whole family a drink of whisky, and roll down the hill together
Welcome 2sassy, thanks for reading.
And as for the drinking and rolling: been there, done that. Never again.
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