About Thanksgiving

With the Thanksgiving in the US happening next week, it made me think of our Thanksgiving this year. Thanksgiving makes me think of the Holly Hunter movie “Home For the Holidays” I love that movie. It reminds me of my family, or rather my Mom’s family, the dysfunction of it. And it makes me laugh, and just a little bit sad. Yes, they know how to part-ay, Especially when there’s wine. Come to think of it, they manage to have mall security called when there is no alcohol involved. And still it makes me glad to know that I have never sat down to a thanksgiving Turkey with the likes of any of them.

I realize I could be taken out just for writing that, my Mom has been known to lurk here and one of my aunts. But I’m willing to take the risk. It’s family drama. Everyone who has a family, and heads home for that Turkey dinner knows , that something will play out somewhere between the saying of grace, and the clearing of the table. It’s almost inevitable. And all you can do is laugh or keep quiet.

Even with Carpenter’s family the drama is there. We decided to spend the long weekend up north this year. Papa had his second hip replacement in September, and needed a few things done around the farmyard. We thought we’d give him a hand. We spent time with Ann, Ann’s daughter Andi, and her fiancé Grouse. I have to call him that cuz he’d never shot anything until that weekend. Carpenter and I went for a drive through the back roads, he was hunting, or that’s what he called it, I was no help of course, I slammed the truck door, and talked in anything but a whisper. It was nice watching the sunset, and we happened to see a few mulies. Does, to be precise. And I was thankful that they weren’t bucks. Then I wouldn’t have to watch the killing /cleaning.

We arrived back when dinner was done. Poor Ann was certain the stove wouldn’t cook the turkey. They’ve been having problems with the oven. It was probably a good thing we were an hour late.

Carpenter’s brother, his girlfriend, Tina, and her kids were there. The conversation flowed easily across the table, as long as we nodded blindly and somewhat ignored Wayne, Carpenter’s brother. I swear everything coming out of that guy’s mouth was nothing short of pure Bullshit. I could not believe that Tina, could have put up with it all this long. Every once in a while Papa would interject with his opinion, and Wayne would roll his eyes, ignore him. He asked politely what we were up to, and as Carpenter explained our plans, his eyes would glaze over and rebuke us with a plan of his own, trying to engage us in a classic game of one-upping. When we refused to play, he turned to our girls and said, “ Sophie has her own horse.”

It took me taking a deep breath and counting to ten to refrain from saying “WTF, Are you still in high School?”

The meal however, was stellar. The stuffing and gravy fantastic, and my mouth watered as I filled the girls’ plates and my own. I had hoped that Carpenter would crack the bottle of wine we brought. It would have made the meal fantastic. Unfortunately, it would take more than a glass of wine for me to handle what was coming next.

I watched the girls sitting at their table, complimented Ann on the wonderful meal, when I realized Seven, the old yellow lab, was under the table, inches from my feet. I tried ignoring him as I ate my food. Tina, was finished, complemented Ann on the food. She then remarked that she ate it all except for the piece of gristle on her plate.

“Do you mind if I feed it to Seven?” she asked.

“No, of course not go ahead.” Ann replied.

At this point I thought Tina would have taken her plate from the table, and scraped the remnants into the dog dish, to later be given to Seven.

I was wrong. She called to Seven and scooped up the greasy gristle from her plate into her fingers and shoved them under the table.

Seven, awaking to the call of his name, rose to his feet and stretched. His butt now in line with me, he let one rip.

I gagged on my mouthful of food and could not rise from my chair fast enough. I ran to the kitchen and found the Mike’s hard Lemonade in the fridge. I opened it and gulped it back. I stood there long enough to regain my composure. And cracked open another.

I found my way back to the table and asked Andi to encourage Seven out form under the table. I could not bring myself to finish my food. I turned to Carpenter and said, “You’re driving right?”

When he nodded, I helped myself to a very strong Rum and coke.

It was Thanksgiving, a time when we gather around the table the people that we love but don’t spend much time with. We toss a little dysfunction in the mix and see what happens. For me, I always end up with a blog worthy story. It’s inevitable. So I laugh, I say nothing, and I do what Holly Hunter’s character says, “Let’s just go out there and stuff ourselves.”

Yum.